OUR 2021-22 SURVEY
NeuroNurture sent out a set of questions for neurodivergent youth in New York City and elsewhere to answer. The questions were related to internalized ableism and self-perception and gave insight into how young people navigate systems and institutions that are not built with their needs and experiences in mind.
QUESTION: HAVE YOU EVER EXPERIENCED INTERNALIZED ABLEISM?
Some of our responses:
"Yes, I have major problems with questioning the validity of my processing issues. In my head, I’ve simplified executive dysfunction into an obstacle I should be able to just power through."
- anonymous respondent in high school with ADHD
"I’ve had a serious lot of internalised ableism. I have always masked my autism, trying to suppress anything in me that would outwardly make me seem autistic. I didn’t even realise I was masking, it was just an unconscious, automatic thing. I would try and adapt to the energy in the room and pick up mannerisms and behaviours from other kids and suppress any behaviours or beliefs that didn’t make me “normal”. So much so that between the ages of 10 and 15 I was determined to diminish my autism so much (through masking/suppressing) to the point where it hopefully wouldn’t be a part of me and I could be “normal”. (What the fuck is normal? There are 7 billion versions of normal on the planet!)"
- anonymous respondent from UK, 18, ADHD + autism
QUESTION: WHEN HAVE YOU EXPERIENCED SELF-CONFIDENCE AS A NEURODIVERGENT PERSON
RESPONSES:
"I have experienced confidence during my SHSAT. (specialized high school entrance exam in NYC) I could almost scan the test. I love my internal reasoning."
- anonymous high school respondent on the autism spectrum
"My idol, Brendon Urie, who is the lead singer of Panic! At The Disco has ADHD. I look up to him for so many things! His ADHD allows him to bring vibrant energy to the stage. It’s kind of a superpower for him because it means he’s such a good performer and such a good musician. Knowing he has ADHD in common with me made me feel more confident about my neurodivergence :) also the Tiktoker Paige Layle, her videos made me feel more confident being autistic since she’s not like the stereotypical autistic person :)"
- anonymous respondent with ADHD and autism
"I slowly but surely began to feel more confident within myself as a neurdivergent person, and now I’m almost always proud of my neurodivergency and what it means to be me."
- anonymous respondent in high school
QUESTION: HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR NEURODIVERSITY TO NEUROTYPICAL PEOPLE?
RESPONSES:
"I would describe it as my thinking and logic operating in a slightly different way than that of other people."
- anonymous high school respondent with autism
"I'd say I have an enhanced experience. I have almost better ways of seeing things and am more "brainy" than most people. I can almost see things they can't. I'm lost in my own head, for better or for worse."
- anonymous respondent with autism
"For me, the hardest part about being autistic is struggling to make/keep friends. This is the biggest pain I’ve ever felt. I had no friends (and I don’t mean few I mean zero) for years as a teenager. And if I had friends there were just pseudo friends. I would get along with them in the classroom but they had their own friends and would never invite me anywhere. It made me feel like I was cursed, like I would just never be able to make friends. Like I was a magnet repelling friendships. It felt so unfair and I became depressed wondering what was wrong with me. From masking all my life, I had social skills on par with my peers. When friends left me they wouldn’t give me any feedback like “you’re so self centred” (just an example) or anything like that, so I had no clue why I couldn’t make friends. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. Luckily things have gotten better now and I have some friends at last :)"
- anonymous respondent from UK with ADHD + autism
QUESTION: DO YOU CONSIDER YOUR NEURODIVERSITY A STRENGTH, A WEAKNESS, OR BOTH?
RESPONSES:
"Other people might not think this but personally I think, unless you’re a musical or academic genius, there’s nothing good that can come from having autism. Actually idk. We’re (typically) passionate, bubbly, talkative... maybe those can be good things."
- anonymous autistic respondent
"Definitely both. Going to the school I go to has definitely made me consider it more of a weakness, but at the same time I also feel like I’ve learned so much through the curiosity and motivation that I correlate to being ND."
- anonymous high school respondent with ADHD
"It's both. I have more trouble relating to those who don't have my diagnosis, and therefore I am seen as inferior. I struggle more to meet others' expectations, but overall I am smarter. My academic abilities are nature, not nurture."
- anonymous autistic respondent
"It’s both because it gives me the strength to keep going forward and to find creative solutions, but sometimes I don’t understand other people’s actions or ideas, since they don’t make sense to me, and that can cause conflict with others."
- anonymous autistic respondent in high school
